Nick Cave and PJ Harvey were ‘each too self-absorbed to ever be able to inhabit the same space in any truly meaningful way’, writes Cave. Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features Polly Jean 'PJ' Harvey MBE (born 9 October 1969) is an English musician and singer-songwriter. Primarily known as a vocalist and guitarist, she is also proficient with a wide range of instruments. Harvey began her career in 1988 when she joined local band Automatic Dlamini as a vocalist, gu Who is she dating right now? According to our records, PJ Harvey is possibly single. Relationships. PJ Harvey has been in relationships with Josh Klinghoffer (2004 - 2005), Josh Homme (2003), Nick Cave (1996 - 1997), Joe Dilworth (1990 - 1992) and Vincent Gallo.. About. PJ Harvey is a 50 year old British Musician born on 9th October, 1969 in Yeovil, Somerset, England, UK. Elvis Costello, a friend of PJ Harvey, commented after the release of ‘Rid Of Me’ that a lot of the artist’s songs “seem to be about blood and fucking.” Despite tracks on the album being titled ‘Rub ‘Til It Bleeds’, ‘Legs’, ‘Man-Size’ and ‘Snake’, Harvey disagreed with the statement. 8. PJ Harvey is a 50 year old British Musician born on 9th October, 1969 in Yeovil, Somerset, England, UK. Her zodiac sign is Libra Contribute. Help us build our profile of P. J. Harvey and Nick Cave! Login to add information, pictures and relationships, join in discussions and get credit for your contributions. PJ Harvey - New Album, Out Now. To Bring You My Love vinyl reissue + Demos album – available now Career. PJ Harvey is a British musician.Harvey was part of Automatic Dlamini along with the PJ Harvey Trio. Harvey also pursued a successful solo career.Her initial tool was the saxophone.Polly could perform a great number of tools such as harmonica, autoharp, piano, bass, and saxophone.Harvey made seven Grammy Award nominations and eight Brit Award nominations. Looking at her body statistics, PJ Harvey has red lips and couture outfits. Harvey stands at the height of 5 ft 4 in or 163 cm. Her body type is slim with weight 55 kg or 121 pounds. Her eyes are hazel. Polly has black hair. Harvey carries body measurements of 32-25-30 in or 81-63.5-76 cm. Harvey has not done any brand endorsements till now. PJ Harvey Siren Rising. London: Omnibus. ISBN 1-84449-433-0. OCLC: 56541646. Frost, Deborah (19 August 1993). 'Primed and Ticking: PJ Harvey beat the sophomore jinx and get their mojo workin' with an American tour and a powerful new album, 'Rid of Me ''. Rolling Stone (663). pp. 52–55. Sandall, R (23 September 2007). 'PJ Harvey steps into the ... PJ Harvey (born October 9, 1969) is the stage name of seminal British indie/alternative rock musician Polly Jean Harvey, who through steady critically-acclaimed releases has become of the one most revered artists in the genre, hailing from Bridport, Dorset, England.
A friend of mine once told me that every person is a child. His point was, that whenever you tell a child not to play near the railway, suddenly the railway is all that’s interesting. He claimed grown-ups are the same. Now, when I can’t socialize and travel, I really get what he means.
I’m not - nor have I been - in a respirator because of this corona crap yet, but I suffer from the lack of socializing and traveling. Would be happy to find new friends from all over the globe here!
I’d say traveling is one of the primes in life. I have so far visited 27 countries, and can’t wait to add new ones! Go ahead and convince me to put your home country next on the list! If I ever visit your home town, I promise to buy you a lunch!
My main interests when traveling are historical and cultural sights and general sightseeing, socializing with locals and learn about their life. I’m a bit adventurous, but not in terms of bungee jumping and scuba diving. My adventures consist of visiting places not usually frequented by tourists, and managing to go without guides etc. Not that I dislike guides, but I enjoy the challenge. If you share my interest, feel free to write! And if you don’t, feel free to write anyway!
I am also very much into music. I’m a vinyl record collector, and I go to concerts whenever a band I like visits town. Here’s a short list of artists and bands that I like: 13th Floor Elevators • Agitation Free • Amon Düül II • Ash Ra Tempel • Bardo Pond • Bauhaus • Big Brother and the Holding Company • Black Sabbath (early albums) • Can • Captain Beefheart • Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds • Cocteau Twins • The Cramps • Cream • The Cure • Dead Can Dance • The Doors • Einstürzende Neubauten • The Electric Prunes • Eric Burdon and the Animals • The Fall • Faust • Föllakzoid • Godspeed You! Black Emperor • Grateful Dead • Groundhogs • Guru Guru • PJ Harvey • Hawkwind • The Jimi Hendrix Experience • John Lee Hooker • Howlin’ Wolf • International Harvester • Jefferson Airplane • The Jesus and Mary Chain • Joy Division • King Crimson • Labradford • Love • Low • Mazzy Star • Blind Willie McTell • Mogwai • The Mothers of Invention • My Bloody Valentine • Neu! • Nico • Pere Ubu • Pink Floyd • Portishead • Quickspace • Radiohead • Red House Painters • Lou Reed • Ride • The Rolling Stones • Sigur Rós • Siouxsie and the Banshees • Slint • Slowdive • Patti Smith • Sonic Youth • The Soundtrack of Our Lives • The Spacious Mind • Spiritualized • Stars of the Lid • The Stooges • Suicide • Talk Talk • Television • Them • Throbbing Gristle • Thåström • Träd, Gräs och Stenar • The United States of America • The Velvet Underground • The Verve • The West Coast Pop Art Experimental Band • Wipers • Wire • Robert Wyatt • The Yardbirds • Yo La Tengo • Neil Young • Young Marble Giants • Frank Zappa.
And yes, that’s a short list, considering how much awesome music that has been made. Share my taste or interest in vinyls, or have suggestions of music I might like? Write!!
Not really here to talk about work, but i’M aN eDUcAtEd JöÖrNaLiZt, sO tHaT’s Y i WrItE sO fUkKinG gUuD! ;P :Y Just kidding, I do wish and need to improve my English. Not that good at it. I am still an educated journalist though, but I’m not working as one anymore. It was a lot more of a sitting-by-the-computer job than I thought, and that was boring me out a little. Right now, I’m working in the travel business. Or nowadays more like “working”.
I’m also a lot into art. Got into that rather recently. I am trying to learn drawing, but still very much a beginner and 90% of my drawings are complete failures. I feel like these times are a bit artsy though, since we’re all basically like figures in Edward Hopper paintings. Only the painter isn’t around.
Anyways, I hope you’ll be interested in a conversation! Maybe we’ll help each other discover new music or travel destinations! Or maybe we’re future travel partners! I don’t care about where you’re from, gender, age etc. All is fine as long as you don’t insult me badly. Feel like starting with messaging on here, with the possibility to take it further later on.
So, hope to hear from you!
/Jon 34 yo male from Sweden
Hello! I’ve been a long time lurker and always felt a little out of place since I don’t earn anywhere near as much as a lot of the MDs, I’m older but still living by myself, and I’m in academia which felt different to normal jobs. This was a great exercise and made me really look into my finances and understand everything, so instead of a vague idea of my assets/savings I now have a proper document to refer to!
Also want to preface that I don’t donate money usually, but I donate time (science outreach and mentoring youths from underprivileged backgrounds). It’s something that hung over from my PhD days, where I had some behind-the-scenes peeks on huge charities and realise how little of their money actually goes to a good cause. I do donate one-off (e.g. natural disasters, war relief etc.).
Section One: Assets and Debt Retirement Balance (and how you got there):
Never had one before my current employment (3yrs) – I wasn’t educated about retirement, and when I knew about 401k, I was already leaving the US (luckily I was only there less than 2yrs, so hadn't wasted too much time). I’m pretty sure I have some government-funded pension in some Nordic countries, I’ll find out when I retire I guess…Currently ~£9800 just from my contribution. I contribute ~9%, salary sacrifice, company contributes ~20%. Defined Benefit Scheme. I also contribute 1% extra to an investment portfolio managed by the pensions scheme – this used to be matched by my employer but is no longer the case (boo!). Equity if you're a homeowner (and how much you put down and how you accumulated that payment):
Own a small apartment by myself. Down-payment+legal fees £37,300. I had to pay down at least 25% of the total property value due to my non-permanent residence status.£3000 from savings, about £13,000 from old junior bank ‘bonds’ maturation and stocks sold, and the rest was a loan from my parents.Mortgage is for another 20 years at 1.84% (just renewed for tracker, no fees, LTV<60%, after a long discussion with my mortgage advisor), still owe £90,500. Will need to figure out what to do with partner, J, soon though. We don’t live together, but he’s planning to buy a forever home in 2020. Savings account balance:Regular savers account:
£1110.50 in regular savers account, I put in at least £100 a month (max £250). This matures yearly and pays 5% interest (interest calculated daily). Easy access account:
£4241.70 (1st year 5% interest for up to £2500, which will drop to 1% after first year), I keep in there for immediate emergency funds. Timed salary insurance account:
USD$30,040 total invested (started 2015) which matures 2023, which should pay out lumpsum USD$34,000. I’ve finally worked out that with all the time involved, return is only about 2%. RARGH. Teaches me a valuable lesson of not being pushed to take out something on the spot because of sales/pressure (for those of you interested, the total invested was paid over 3 years, so 3 years paying in, wait 5 years, return. Please let me know if I’ve actually miscalculated). This will be set aside to repay my parents and also to cover any of their potential expenditures. Stocks and Shares ISA:
£2100, I put in £100 a month (they claim return is 3.5%). Shifting this to Vanguard soon. Easy-access cash ISA:
£100 (1.5%). This is my true emergency fund I’ve set up last month. Will be transferring anything I don’t spend on my grocery and fun budget to this every month. Stocks and shares:
~£7800 – Own some stocks in a couple of companies bought when I was younger and didn’t know too much about index funds. Very passive, that account is just accumulating dividends without reinvesting (I know, I know…). All in a Nordic bank account. “Savings”:
I’m using quotation marks as I’m not sure how to define this. My mom made me get a pseudo-health/life insurance-cum-savings account when I was younger. I contribute about £2700/year for 15yrs (until 2025), and I’m covered for health/accidental death (up to £80,000) until I die. I can choose to withdraw the money after 2030, and the later I withdraw the better the return. I’ve no intentions of withdrawing earlier, and I might just leave this as an insurance policy. Happy to hear thoughts about this. Checking account balance:
~£900 for my normal everyday accounts.~£2500 in foreign accounts – I can’t really do much with these accounts as some are linked to my insurance-cum-savings account bank.
USD$7974 in US bank account, leftover from my time in the US. I'll close down and transfer out to cover my weird savings/insurance account contributions (see above), as travel credit cards voided the argument of keeping a US bank account for US travels. Plus the interest rates are absolute shite!! Credit card debt (and how you accumulated it):
- Been working in a foreign country where things are cheap, so I’m stocking up on stuff like shoes and clothes that will last me for at least a couple of years. Also bought gifts for my colleagues (and their children).
- Partner and I went travelling after my work is done, so we'd bought experience packages, which includes his birthday present of a behind-the-scenes zoo tour (£106 for two). We also stayed with friends so we took them out for dinner and bought treats as a thank you.
- Just had a complete health check-up (£290, half price courtesy of partner’s work), everything bar my weight (sadface) came back super healthy.
- Just paid the Dropbox annual renewal fees (£96).
Using a 0.5% cash-back credit card for most of this. Some of the previous balance which I’ve already paid off will be reimbursed from work as they’re work expenses (~£650). Partner just paid me £150 for his share of expenses during travelling, so I will need to cough up ~£720 before 27th January. I always pay off the entire balance every month. Student loan debt (for what degree):
£0 for PhD in biological sciences – super lucky that my parents were firm believers of education and paid for my undergraduate degree. I was then awarded a full scholarship (4 years, covering tuition, lab consumables and a generous living stipend) for my PhD. Other debt:
Section Two: Income Main Job Monthly Take Home:
£2199 per month after basic taxes, national insurance, and pensions. This goes up every year to adjust for inflation and experience (~4.5%), but will hit a ceiling (around 5 years from now). I'm hoping to advance to the next level and get a grant in the next couple of years though. It's highly competitive, but fingers crossed...Miscellaneous:
~£25 per month from letting a friend stay the odd night in the spare bedroom.
Monthly Expenses Mortgage:
£550 (I overpay about £100) for my 2-bed flat.Council tax:
£13 – probably will get off it as I don’t actually own a TV (never had). Initially wanted to support the BBC, but seeing I’ve been paying this for 3 years and watched probably only 2-3 programmes I might cancel it…might.Savings contribution:
>£100 to Regular savers, £100 to S&S ISA (automatic transfers)Debt payments:
variable month to month, just clearing out whatever I’ve put on my cashback credit cardElectricity/Gas:
~£50 for electricity. I don’t have gas (I miss proper cooking hobs!)Dental insurance:
£250 (see above for weird insurance/savings account. This is variable as I do dip into it, which is not good!!)Water+bins:
£18 (just switched to another provider through Quidco, not had the cashback yet which should be at least £25. Although they’re a lot cheaper than my previous provider they also blocked a free streaming site so I had to VPN out for that particular site, usually for watching The Simpsons ^^" )Property Management fees:
Monthly Subscriptions Audible:
£8 (love Audible. I used to read sooooooo much when I was a child, and stopped as I didn’t have time to read a physical book…not anymore!)Gym:
£13 – got this super cheap as I was referred to physio and now entering the rehab phase. Starting in January.Newspaper:
£5 (this is for an awesome podcast called “Fall of Civilizations”)Wikipedia:
£1.49 (I love Russchian, which I could only find on ocado.com…and it’s just easier to have deliveries when I don’t own a car. Plus they have a price commitment to match with Tesco’s, and Honey actually locates good discount codes from time to time!)
Other Subscriptions Dropbox:
£96 annual (paid December yearly). In my industry it’s best to keep track of all my work/data no matter how old they may be, and it’s just easier if I pay for the storage myself instead of worrying when I move institutions how to transfer from one company to another.Amazon Prime:
£79 annual. Saved me a lot of trouble when it comes to lastminute presents with the Prime delivery! Plus the wardrobe function really helps when I don’t particularly like shopping in the physical sense. I’m trying to curtail my habit of browsing though…I do use Prime video quite often though.Contact lenses:
~£260 annual. I use Dailies and have a discount through work. Usually order every 6 months.
Diary Day 1 – Friday 20/12/2019
6.45am – J’s alarm went off. Snooze. We didn’t get home till 11.30pm last night as we went to see the newest Star Wars film, so we both had issues getting up…
6.55am – J got up, he had a morning meeting with his big boss. I decided to not get ready yet, so he can get out of the door in time. I spent about 30min clearing out memes and unwanted files on my phone to clear out some space. Had a huge mug of water to wake myself up.
7.21am – I start getting ready for work, shower, etc. J made me coffee, I blow dry my hair whilst playing this silly game called “Zombie Castaways” on my iPad (well, it’s J’s, but he doesn’t use it so gifted it to me. I only ever use it for the game). I stole some vegan cheese (J’s trying to be more environmentally friendly) and vegan cocktail sausages from his fridge for breakfast.
8.14am – head to bus stop. I usually cycle but since we only got back from our travelling last week from Australia I’ve been taking it easy due to the cold, wet, and jetlag. Got a week pass 2 days ago (£16), does this count towards today’s expenses? Anyway, bus was late (as usual, which is why I prefer cycling), but once I got on I used the time to catch up on WhatsApp messages and talk to my friends. Traffic is usually quite bad so it takes upwards of 45min-1hour to get from J’s to work. Cycling would’ve only taken 30min, but I wouldn’t have been able to catch up on messages. Got a message from a friend asking if J and I have any plans for the weekend. He’s going through a rough time (unexpected divorce) so we arranged to go see a movie (Jumanji 2) for Sunday.
9.20am – finally at my desk!! Filled up my water bottle (1L, I try to drink at least 2-3 of this every day just at work), and made another coffee. Dealt with a few work emails. Everyone is in a holiday mood so lots of non-work chatter going on, probably spent about 20minutes talking about Rise of Skywalker at some point…oops!
9.45am – got an email saying I need to renew my scientific society membership (£59). Paid on my credit card but this will be reimbursed by work, so not counting this as expenditure for today! Planned for experiments over the holidays, and went into the microscope room.
11.45am – early lunch as I have electron microscope time with our expert. Brought in packed lunch which is stir fry beef and veggie rice noodles. Ate a couple of clementines that I brought in as well.
Noon – Electron microscopy time! So different actually seeing the live process, just gives a better feel about what my samples are doing than simply looking at select few photos. Got some beautiful images which suggests my paper is one step closer to completion. Woop! Went into labs for some cell culture after. Helped my colleague sort his cells out as he needed to leave early today. We work really well with one another in this lab :)
2.50pm – hungry so snacked on some Stollen cookie, which I bought for the lab a couple of days ago. Still good. All the while read another Money Diaries on Reddit, and promptly got depressed (well, not quite depressed, but definitely questioning) about my life choices when I find out how much a pharma scientist earns in Raleigh…this is rectified by an email 15minutes later saying our paper is (finally) scheduled to be printed in one of the top journals in biological sciences in January!!! It had been a very long and arduous (and sometimes infuriating due to people’s behaviour) process, but it’s a great piece of work and we’re all very happy it’s done and dusted. Onto the next big thing!
4pm – everyone is pretty much gone for the holidays, so packing up myself too. My friend (R) is adamant of continuing his Christmas tradition of “going to the Spoons with my friends on the last Friday before Christmas, and stay there for at least 6 hours ordering through the app!” (which, mind you, he never did with his Manchester friends as he’s usually back in London, so I’m not sure how we got roped into this LOL), so I headed to the Wetherspoons (bus pass!). At least it’ll be a significantly cheaper night than going to other pubs/bars…!
4.43pm – Debauchery starts! Well. It was just R and I initially. We managed to find a big table, and 20min in a lad came along and offered to swap tables for £20. We apologetically declined and told the others to hurry up. I had a burger and chips which was a deal (£2.60!), not the best burger but it does the trick. Friends started arriving and the proper drinking starts. R persuaded me to try and prank another table by ordering peas to them through the app, but the peas never arrived (a wasted 55p ). Someone bought a round of Spoons-version of Jaegerbombs, another bought a round of aftershock, and another Baileys…I decided to buy a round of Prosecco (only £23.1 for a round of one mini bottle per person!!), which went down really well. We all chipped in for 4 lines of lottery (£1.25 per person), but didn’t win anything (obviously!). I ordered some more chicken wings for the table as well. It was a fun evening, but I was so exhausted that the Prosecco actually almost finished me off. J and I made a pact that we would leave together, as I know if I was left on my own I’d end up staying out with my friends which meant earliest a 3am end. And I can’t deal with that just yet…
Spent: £39.51 (holy moly maybe we should only go to Spoons from now on…)
11.13pm – J got an Uber to go to his parents (he had a 7.30am appointment the next day near theirs), and I tagged along to be dropped off at mine. As I was getting off the driver must’ve had a brain crosswiring, as he started driving off with my foot still in the car and door still opened! I audibly said “what the fuck?!”, cleared out and turned around. The driver had this shocked look on his face and was very apologetic. I was fine so no harm done. Not sure what star rating J left the driver though. Total for the day: £39.51 Day 2 – Saturday 21/12/2019
6am – woke up, head feels suspiciously ok, so grabbed some coconut water and went back to sleep.
8.45am – kinda got up, head still feels fine although I can tell my body is going “meh, tired!”. Kept drinking that coconut water and checked my bank cards to survey the damage done last night. I must admit I’m very impressed by the relatively low amount I’d spent, despite all the food and drinks consumed! (Also impressed that I was not actually hungover as well) Oddly I received a refund from Ocado £64.85, my last order which was delivered a week ago after all the carrier bags returned (they give you 5p back for recycling the bags) was £60.40, so I wonder if it’s them realising the overcharge and refunded me the full amount before taking the correct amount out again. So not touching that chunk of money for now! Amazon delivery claimed my parcel was handed to the resident, i.e. me, while I was out last night, so I had a “oh shit I can’t believe they lied and took it/gave it to someone else” moment (this has happened before). Threw on a jumper over my pjs and went downstairs to check. Turned out they left it on top of the post box, so I’m relieved. It’s a lastminute present for J’s mom that I bought 2 days ago, a nice Bayliss and Harding gift set, and replacement shower beads for the shower head (can’t verify if it does make the water nicer, but they definitely increase the water strength!).
9.25am – still in bed. I’m doing all my online life admin from bed. I intend to maximise time in my bed. Did I tell you about my bed? Jokes aside, I’m hoping to just have a lazy day today. For once I’ve not got tons of stuff scheduled with others as it’s the holiday season. I don’t spend enough time with my bed normally so I’m rectifying this today.
10.44am – I’m hungry, so made some instant katsu curry rice noodles (I always crave salt the day after drinking)
Noon – weekly skype with parents, again from bed.
1.45pm – finished talking to parents and decided to do some food prep as the meat that was delivered last week is nearing their expiry date. Oops. I made celery and chicken stir fry, and some duck and pak choi stir fry. This will be my packed lunch/dinner this coming week whenever I’m not eating out. Also pre-chopped up and froze stuff for a beef stew to be made in the New Year.
3.07pm – Packed up all the food I made, and went back in bed (I wasn’t joking about that bed comment lol), watched a couple of episodes of Amazon’s “The Boys”. Also responded to a couple of work emails.
4.30pm – Finally got out and made the bed, started getting ready for this evening. I’m meeting J at 6pm for dinner before going to a stand-up comedy show by Jack Whitehall. We bought the tickets maybe 5 months ago (I think price was £58 per person?). Been looking forward to the show and it’s a bit surreal it’s finally here!
5.30pm – Bus to city centre. Bus pass again.
6pm – met up with J, but everywhere in town is completely packed with people and tables aren’t available till 7.30pm…! Should’ve known but the place we wanted to go couldn’t be booked anyway. We wandered around for a while, thinking we might be able to get some Christmas market food, but the stalls were packing up as well! Finally found a Starbucks that wasn’t very busy. We sat down and got drinks and food (vegan mac n cheese, chai latte for me; chicken salad, all-day breakfast bun, bottled water for him), J paid for it (£18). We then walked to the venue.
7.30pm – got to the venue, and J is already hungry! So I queued and got us drinks (water and diet coke) and a big packet of crisps (Kettle chips). I paid for this.
10.20pm – What a show! Jack Whitehall was really funny, although the show was a little ruined by this lady who’s sitting in front of us. She’s a very pretty and dressed up lady, who’s clearly on a date night with her husband (I saw her phone screensaver which were them with a baby). Unfortunately, she got progressively drunk over the show, using her phone extensively and talking really loudly to her husband in the last 20min of the show (I could hear her saying “I want to go out and drink more after this! Let’s go and have fun!” etc., over Jack’s voice). She also lolled her head around and banging it against J’s knee a few times, and shrieked like a banshee at the finale of the show…as they were leaving we could see her husband needing to support her as she’s walking up the steps, and she was shouting (happily though) at another stranger. He looked embarrassed. I feel sorry for her having wasted money on a show that she probably won’t remember. We walked to the tram stop. I felt a bit hungry so we stopped by a Tesco’s Extra, I bought a pack of chicken drumsticks. Consumed 3 when we got home and left the other two for future J, as he wasn’t hungry then.
10.59pm – Tried to buy a ticket on my tram app but couldn’t for the life of me remember the cvv number of the card linked on there, and the app constantly crashed out on me when I tried to add another card. Thankfully J came to the rescue and bought me my ticket. Tried to pay him back but he wouldn’t accept it. As we were on the tram ticket inspectors got on, so I’m super glad I didn’t decide to try my luck! It’s quite funny to see a group of teenagers ran off the tram as soon as the inspectors got on. The girls behind me also had a panicked discussion (one of them had a ticket, the other didn’t), and in the end the girl without the ticket pretended her app isn’t working. Pretty sure the inspectors knew what was up, but they just made her use her debit card to touch-in at the next station, which was lucky for her. I remember once being fined £75 in a Nordic country because I didn’t realise I had to have a separate ticket for my bike. The inspector was sympathetic (as it was clear I wasn’t local) but firm about the fine.
11.55pm – Fell asleep as J tried to show me a “Star Wars Pitch Meeting” on YouTube. Ah well. Total for the day: £11.85 Day 3 – Sunday 22/12/2019
6.40am – Woke up without any alarm. My body is definitely getting back into a rhythm. J and I had an agreement to lie-in today, so I went back to sleep.
9.45am – Woke up again, downed a big glass of water to wake myself up. We just lied in bed chatting and reading stuff on internet (Reddit for me).
10.45am – Got up to get ready for work. I have about 30min at work today (to set up an experiment). J made me a coffee.
11.20am – Bus to work, buss pass! Caught up with WhatsApp messages again. Also listened to Audible (“Elizabeth II: Life of a Monarch”).
Noon – Got off bus stop, decided to stop by the Chinese supermarket to pick up some pantry staples that’s finished. I was taken aback by the price of Shao Xing wine - £5.99!! Ah well.
12.15pm – Got to work. A colleague was also there, we chatted briefly and I got to work.
12.55pm – Bus home. Bus pass!
1.25pm – Lunch! Made some couscous to go with ¼ of the celery and chicken stir fry I made yesterday. Yum.
1.45pm – Got the bus to town, meeting J and my friend for Jumanji 2. J brought popcorn, chocolates and soft drinks from Tesco’s, so we don’t pay extortionate amounts for the same stuff in the cinema. We didn’t even need to hide the stuff, because apparently they are not allowed to take stuff off us.
Spent: £4.99 for ticket
5pm – Film finished, it was way more enjoyable than I thought! The two teenage boys sitting behind us were really excitable and kept a running commentary (e.g. “Whaaaaaaat?!” “Oh no way!!” “I know exactly where this is going!!”) which was quite funny, but also a little excessive at times. Anyway, I booked us a table at a Pho place for 5.30pm so we wandered around. I wanted to find a small Christmas present for my best friend from home (M) who’s visiting, and found a figurine at the Disney store. It was also on sale so perfect! I couldn’t spend Christmas day with her so it’s like a little something for her to unwrap when I’m not around ”
5.30pm – Pho time! We ordered a starter and salad to share between us, and each of us got either Pho or Rice bowls, and some sort of juice type drinks. We chatted and planned New Year’s Eve party together (we’re going to do a games night with a small group of people at J’s place), and split the bill 3-way.
Spent: £21 including tips
7.20pm – Taking the bus home. Bus pass time again!
7.45pm – put on some Gabriel Iglesias on Youtube, as I updated my Money Diaries.
9pm – a couple of work emails came through so dealt with that, and started my dishwasher.
11.15pm – after faffing around (mainly YoutTube clips of Stephen Colbert) finally fell asleep. I need to change this bad habit as I would like to wake up earlier to do some body-weight training, like I used to before the 2 months working overseas stint… Total for the day: £49.17 Day 4 – Monday 23/12/2019
6.45am – Alarm went off. I simply refused to get up as I was dreaming about resolving issues at work (which never happened before), so I felt exhausted. Snooze every 10min…
7.55am – Switched on my SAD lamp to force myself to get up. It’s so bright! I realise I definitely get affected by the sunlight (or lack thereof), so invested in a lamp last year. I actually have another one in the Nordic country I worked in, which I lent to a friend a couple of years ago. She was going through a very tough time with her PhD and was depressed, so I hope it had helped her. Drank 800ml water, checked my messages and dealt with a couple of work emails about the collaboration we had with the overseas lab.
8.30am – Got up to shower etc. listening to "Lore" podcast, and got ready for work. Received yet another email as I was blow-drying my hair that needs to be addressed. Gah.
9.45am – Made it onto the bus!! I saw the bus coming down the road and made a run for the next stop (which was obvious I wouldn’t be able to make it), and the driver was nice enough to stop just in front of me to let me on :D Bus pass again.
10.15am – Got into work. Have to say I was very tempted to get a coffee and tea cake (Northern term for raisin buns. I think.) with butter, but remembered that the café is closed for holidays. Ah well. At least I saved money! Made a coffee for myself and had a couple of kinder chocolates (I know this is despicable especially seeing I’m trying to be healthy again). No one else was in yet, left a present for the PhD student in our lab – I found a super quirky and colourful shirt in my grandmother’s wardrobe that the PhD student would love, so I’m now gifting it to her. Not sure when she will be in though…
12.40pm – lunch at desk! Made some couscous this morning to go with my celery and chicken stir-fry. Scrolled through Reddit and deleted a bunch of useless emails on my work account.
2.10pm – received messages from my friends in London planning a get together with all their babies/children, so bought a return ticket for first week of January. Day trip to London to see all of them, including 3 babies/toddlers I’ve not met yet! Bought tickets through Quidco and used my cashback card, so should save 1.5% in total. Would like to bring presents for the babies/toddlers as well, but feel a little odd if I only bought things for the ones I’ve never met. Probably will just do that though…any thoughts on this?
2.50pm – I caved, and went downstairs to get a packet of crisps from the vending machine. I’m so weak-willed :(
5.10pm – Didn’t quite realise the time as I was absorbed in my analysis. Decided to pack up and head home, as my last colleague in the office also finished his experiments and was leaving. Usually I like being the only person at work, but as it's the holidays it felt a bit different...
5.20pm – Stopped by Co-Op. My colleague gave me the brilliant idea of getting a few scratch cards for J as part of his Christmas present. J loves scratch cards (I’ve never ever bought them myself) and sometimes gets one just for fun. He calls it charity, I guess the Lotto does support charity work! Will be wrapping this up together with a 50p coin for scratching. Also got him a chocolate bar. Bus home using bus pass.
6pm – got home and absolutely starving. Snacked on some rilettes I got from Christmas market a week ago. Made soup noodles with leftover pak choi from the stir fry, and added some frozen dumplings. Decided to crack open a bottle of Desperados as well – I know they’re supposed to be trashy but I really like them. Wrapped up presents and tidied up my flat so M can stay over in my single room.
8pm – Skype time with my friend who lives in the US! Haven’t spoken to him for ages, and I couldn’t make it to his wedding back in September due to work :( but it was great catching up, and hopefully I’ll get to catch up with them when I go to a US conference 2020 or 2021…
10pm – Brush teeth, get ready for bed, etc. Total for the day: £65 Day 5 – Tuesday 24/12/2019
6.45am – alarm went off. Snooze.
7.15am – switch on SAD lamp, and drink my 800ml water to wake up. Put on "Family Ghosts" podcast on my speaker, shower, got ready. Also made couscous to go with my stir fry for lunch. M has arrived in Manchester and will be taking a nap before meeting me for afternoon tea.
9.20am – stopped by Co-op to get a box of Celebrations chocolates (£2) for the security guards who are working over the holidays. I know them all by face, and sometimes have a quick chat with them. Also got some crisps for office (I don’t want to pay £1 for just one single packet of crisps ever again). I’m trying the Walkers Sprout-lover and Sprout-hater packs (£2 for 12). Walked to bus station
9.50am – got to work!
11.30am – was hungry so heated up my packed lunch. Also had a bag of Brussel Sprouts crisps – they’re surprisingly nice, and actually does taste a little bit like Brussel Sprouts! It’s mental.
12.15pm – had a bit of a mishap at work so had to go home to get changed. As I had to wash my tights and shorts (to make sure no chemical contamination – it’s overkill but I’d rather be safe) I decided to take Uber home instead of walking to/from bus station in the cold with damp clothes.
2.20pm – Walked to bus stop to go into town. Bus pass! I was on my way to meeting M to take her out on an afternoon tea experience with champagne. It’s my treat for her to come and visit me during Christmas. Bought the voucher off Groupon last week, and it was £45 for two.
2.45pm – got ‘caught’ by one of the Mormon missionaries, and spent 10 minutes chatting to her. I’m honestly intrigued to how their minds work, and wouldn’t mind having an honest and open discussion with them about their faith, but I don’t think that’s what they would want…
3pm – Escaped the missionary (she knew I was meeting a friend for tea), and met with M. We managed to get seated 30min earlier, which was great. We got champagne and started on all the food that’s laid out. The scones were scrumptious!!
5.28pm – M really wanted to have mulled wine, but the Christmas markets were gone, so we decided to just get them at the afternoon tea place. I paid for it as it’s my treat. She grudgingly accepted on the premise that she pays for our Uber rides (her job will cover most of her travels).
6pm – We got Uber to M’s hotel to pack her bags for staying over.
6.30pm – J texted to ask what we should do about dinner. We’re still full but he wanted KFC, so he ordered a whole ton of food for himself (that boy can eat – he’s thin, but he eats like a cow…!) and added something like 4 pieces of chicken for us. His treat.
7.04pm – Uber-ed back to mine (M paid), chicken arrived literally 5min after we got to my flat. I’m still in shock how much food J ate. He finished 3 packs of fries, a pack of popcorn chicken, 6 pieces of boneless fillets, and a big tub of gravy. It’s like a methodical operation. He declared later that night he’s not going to eat KFC ever again though.
8pm onwards – Board games time! I also cracked open a bottle of champagne I’ve saved for the occasion, and we all had some Spanish honey rum, as well as Aussie whisky (quite harsh, not the best…).
10.30pm – We’re all a bit tired so called it a night. Packed up the dishwasher and tidied up everything for the next day. Set the washing machine going as well. Total for the day: £25.42 Day 6 – Wednesday 25/12/2019
9am – IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!!! J and I exchanged our gifts in my room (polaroid camera bag for me, scratch cards and plush toys with sentimental values for him), and just chilled in bed watching clips and reading stuff. M was having a lie-in.
10.30am – I got ready and hung out the washing. J took his sweet time in the bathroom (I think it might be related to the KFC………)
11am – I lured M out of her room with the promise of good strong black coffee. I made her said coffee with my traditional Italian cafetiere. We all had breakfast (cereal and milk), and I gave M her present. She absolutely loved it, and did a whole photoshoot of the figurine once it’s assembled LOL. We all then just chilled in the living room. We also made a list of things she wanted to buy in the Boxing day sale tomorrow.
1pm – J’s dad picked J and I up. M stayed to guard the fort. She will be joining us the next day for lunch.
1.30pm – got to J’s parents’ place, and exchange gifts again. I gave his dad a bottle of rare spirits I’ve got during our travels, and his mom a Bayliss and Harding gift set. They gave us a voucher for a spa day and afternoon tea, which was absolutely amazing. They also gave me a set of beauty products, a giant toblerone, and some polaroid films. I really feel very spoilt. Turned out J had another two presents for me – one is a really awesome t-shirt, and another one is a box of craft beers. Apparently, the beers w free (he had to pay postage only) through his work, so I feel less bad about not getting him more stuff. Although to be fair, I did buy tickets to tourist landmarks for him when we were travelling, which we’ve agreed is part of my Christmas presents to him.
2.32pm – we sat down to Christmas lunch. So. Much. Food. Courtesy of Marks and Sparks, but they’re so tasty! Red wine in abundance as well. J’s mom wouldn’t let me help, which makes me feel rather odd (I was brought up to help with anything an elder is doing), but I did help clear up the dishes at least!
4.30pm – finally finished eating, and retired to the living room. We then begun the age-old tradition of vegetating in front of the TV watching Christmas telly. I messaged with a few friends, and played Zombie on the iPad while we watched The Chase bloopers. I’ve also been thinking about presents, and wanted to get J’s mom something different for next year. Looking into Pandora charms (she has a bracelet), and saw they’re on sale, so we’re probably gonna get a few in the next week, while the sale is on, for her birthday and Christmas. I tend to go gift shopping whenever there is a sale and I have an idea of what to get people. So my gift shopping is actually spaced throughout the year, rather than packed in the last month of the year. I’ve already got J’s dad’s next birthday present a while back as a result!
7pm – Christmas pudding time! So. Much. Custard. I have to admit, I much prefer Christmas pudding to Christmas cake.
8.15pm – We decided to play some Trivial Pursuits. J and I as a team, and his parents as another team. Things got competitive (this is the ONE thing J gets incredibly competitive about), but we all had a great time. J’s parents were up by 2, but we managed to catch up and win the game. There were some grumblings about not having a time limit to answers, but I would say we were all very spirited!
10.30pm – Bed time! Total for the day: £0 Day 7 – Thursday 26/12/2019
10am – We only just woke up properly, as it was a restless night. Too much food and wine! Plus J was really excited about winning Trivial Pursuits (did I mention how competitive he is with that game?! He’s usually really docile), so he was tossing and turning for quite a while. I saw some boxing day deals emails, one is a Groupon for cryolipo, and I was so tempted (£100 for two areas), especially as I find my thigh areas really hard to reduce. J was aghast that I even considered it, as he thinks I’m fine just as I am. But I mean, even his work’s health check people said I need to lose 8kg.
11am – Got dressed and came downstairs. Had coffee and I was kind of relieved to see J’s mom still in her dressing gown, as it meant we weren’t too late! It’s raining, typical Manchester.J’s parents had booked an Italian restaurant for lunch, so we didn’t have full breakfast. J gave me one of his Belvita biscuits, I also had a clementine.
2pm – We went and met M at the restaurant. The food was absolutely delicious, and J’s parents were very generous to cover the whole bill, including M’s! It was about £35 per person I think. I’m planning to have them over for dinner soon as a thank you (I did that once before – I’m a pretty decent cook, although my kitchen is tiny).
3.48pm – We finished lunch, and M and I Uber-ed to town centre so we could do some boxing day shopping. She paid for Uber again. I didn’t really intend to get anything, but I do like seeing bargains!
4.53pm – M ticked off part of her list, and insisted in getting me a game I’ve been eyeing up (originally £15 on Amazon, reduced to £5 in the shop!). I was dismayed to find Wilco’s had closed, but we found another (better) shop for M's doormat. I by chance saw a cute small humidifier which, after a quick check on Amazon, I decided to get; it was only Sunday when I thought how dried out I felt in the morning (having the heaters on at night).
5.15pm – Dropped in Aldi’s for some bottled water and milk (M finished it that morning).
5.30pm – We went over to Harvey Nichols, they have some sunglasses on sale and I was VERY tempted by a pair of Chloé sunglasses. It’s 30% off but would still be over £200. I couldn’t justify owning them as I don’t need another pair, so I put them back. M was talking about finding a glamourous pair of sunglasses (i.e. branded) that she wouldn’t mind losing, but she found nothing either.
6pm – We moved to Selfridges. M had to get some face primer from Armani, so we went to the counter. I never knew that Armani is famous for lipsticks and face powder (I always use MAC foundation, and lip stain from South Korea/Nooni lip oil/colour-changing lipbalm from lipice), and I picked up an unusual lip stain colour (for me), which is more plum than red. It looked really good, and was half price, so I’m actually glad I got to try this!
6.30pm – We stopped at Marks and Spencers food hall (for the uninitiated/not-British…“It’s not just food, it’s M&S food” is a real phenomenon). Christmas-related food were half-price or better despite the late expiry date, so we kinda went a little crazy. M even got Brussel Sprouts to take home with her tomorrow! I got Parma ham (which will be used for our NYE party), duck pâté, mushroom pâté, duck/venison/chicken liver parfait trio; these will last me a good while! I also got a seafood linguine ready meal (only 49p reduced from £4.50!!!) for dinner tonight.
7.20pm – We walked to the bus stop, and realised the bus is only running every half an hour due to holidays’ timing. As M still needed to pack her stuff and go back to her hotel from mine, I decided we should take an Uber. I’m paying for this.
Spent: £6.68 (would’ve been £5.20 between the two of us anyway)
8.30pm – Waved M goodbye. I feel a little sad as it had been great having her on my turf. We’ve been friends for 20 years and it’s just great having the chance to hang out with her for more than just a few hours a year, and chill with her without any big time-restraints.
9pm – Heated up the linguine and had it for dinner. Caught up with a few more friends on WhatsApp, and updated my money diaries as I put “Gourmet Makes” in the background.
12.50am – I think it must be all the festivities, I’m still awake!! Set the alarm for later, as no one else will be going to work tomorrow, so I don’t have to worry about getting in early for space in the lab. Put on a tasty video just as white noise and switched the screen off my laptop. Total for the day: £48.23
(Week breakdown and reflections in comments)
I'm tired of not feeling that people outside my family sees the person I feel I am. That is - I'm tired of trying to explain how my thinking goes without being validated in a way that feels close. I'm becoming more and more secluded living on something kinda equal to disability in my country. Yet I know from experience this is the life that treats me best. I've tried conforming, tried living up to what it means to be a normal functioning person in todays society with having a job, taking care of my household etc.
It's somewhat challenging to assemble this post from a emotional perspective since my mothertongue is something else from English and there are subtle differences between the social atmosphere in my country and many of yours.
But to give some further context I could mention that I got diagnosed Asperger in my early twenties (ten years ago) and have yet to find another aspie with inner workings I can relate to on a deeper level.
I am stuck in many ways and I acknowledge that. And people close to me as well as professionals have tried in so many different ways to help me and give me methods and support. But it's getting harder and harder for me to find motivation for change as well as picturing a future. The many small steps I would have to struggle through in order to have a better life mean nothing to me in and of themselves. It's just an endless road ahead and even if I would struggle through all that it would still take years for me to reach a place where I think someone could see me as a partner in life.
Last I had a relationship was ten years ago. But as the people in my age group went on to become adults and build a life in society I fell behind. The girls I fall in love with nowadays have ambitions and goals in life that for others would seem fairly normal and all that, but I have nothing to contribute. I am not capable of taking on the responsibilities that would be the bare minimum it feels like.
I had a cat, but gave her away last spring. She was content and not mistreated, but just emptying the litter was so much work that my mom had to come over once a week in order for it to be ok. I miss my cat so much. I miss the physical contact and having someone knowing my daily mundane self. I miss the affection.
I wrote and recorded music a couple of years ago. Lyrics in Swedish. I got nice reactions from my surroundings and it became important for me. A way to express myself, outline my identity, humanize myself, be something else than a diagnosis or whatever. Be the unique me. But my constant struggle with self perception, self esteem made it hard for me to evolve the project passed the things I was able to do on my own. I wanted to play my music live and wanted to connect to others through it, but even though I've studied music I felt my understanding of everything from sound engineering to my abilities as a musician was inadequate and that no one would have the stamina and lust to enter into a collaboration.
I'm mentioning my music to put some light on the fact that somewhere within I have a drive. Before that project I'd played music since adolescence and studied in community college. But I had never sung. It wasn't until my mid-late twenties I dared to try. It was a big deal for me. I opened up lyrically and I did something that was me. I think I was able to take those steps because I no longer surrounded myself with musicians and the prestige and pressure was gone.
I haven't made music for some time now. Everything I've tried to produce sounds the same to my ears and I've lost belief in my abilities.
One of the many hard things that social media demand from you is self promotion. Social media is not social interaction as much as it is a medium through which you watch yourself and compare. After school I have had a hard time finding social circumstances where people I respond to, people with shared interests and similar outlook meet. Part of it is that I live in the same town I almost always have that consists of 100 000. The people I once played music with have moved on, maybe relocated to the capital. The once still making music have made a career out of it and kind of moved to a higher tier.
Music is not on my mind that much these days, I'm lingering on it in this post because it's the only concrete direction I've had in life. It's the motor that have driven me outside my comfort zone because it has been something I've felt being worth the challenges.
Anyway. The person I could present through music was a multidimensional person with a fire inside. I consider myself an emotional man, whether I come across that way when you meet me I don't know. But emotions is something vivid and true within me. Emotions are my core. And I've seen it as one of my assets. I think a lot. My inner life is where I am the most nuanced and colorful.
Which brings me back to the beginning of the post. I'm tired of not getting through to others or rather finding the people that get me on a deeper level. I'm tired to trying.
I'm a talker. I have expressed through words my feelings and thoughts to therapists, teachers, friends and family. Every new aquaintance require a long and slow rehash of so many things. Getting to know another person is always trial and error. I get that. But I am growing quiet.
I know I'm kind of hopping around from one train of thought to another here. But I came to think of past summer. I went to a music festival alone for the second year. I've been to many festival in my life, so it was nothing out of the ordinary. I did however have an anxiety attack so grave that I had to live the festival grounds and go back to my hotel. I sat on my room for the better part of the festival and missed out on the artists I most wanted to see (PJ Harvey being one of them). I don't know how to describe how this whole ordeal was, the impact it had on me at the moment and what it has meant afterwards. I felt so lonely with the tens of thousands in the crowd and I going there in the first place meant a substantial blow to my economy. It became wasted time and effort and money, it only garnered anxiety. I think that the same tendencies that has made me become quieter have made so that I don't think I'll go to a festival again in the coming years unless I have a partner in life.
Depression and struggles easily becomes vicious circles where you hinder your own development and lessen the opportunities.
I'm not looking for advice. I won't add the NAW flair, but I may not respond to advice especially if it's something I've tried many times before or know all too well. I feel that I am aware of the many avenues I should try or should try again. I'm writing to express the ache in my heart more than anything.
I'm a loving person, I have love in my heart. And to not having someone to caress or someone to caress me pains me so very much. I long to be someones favourite person, but it all feels so far away in so many ways.
I'll end the post here or I'll never stop typing. You see the need to be understood can make me try to explain and describe in absurdum. I'm off on a road trip helping my brother move some stuff from one city to another. Maybe the change of scenery will ease my mind this week. Thanks for reading.
Hi guys, my partner isn't feeling too well so I have a spare ticket to PJ Harvey tonight at the ICC (convention center). We paid $120 for it, letting it go for $80.
I'm just about to leave my place to get to the venue, so if you're interested, PM me and I'll arrange to meet you out the front. Thanks!
Recent albums I've gotten stuck on are Julie Ruin, Circuit des Yeux, and PJ Harvey.
The Julie Ruin is catchy as hell, less punky and more poppy than Hanna's Bikini Kill material, with some great one-line refrains (e.g., "start a Kickstarter for your heart").
Circuit des Yeux released an album under the title of Jackie Lynn recently, and it's pretty great. Kind of a feminist concept album about a woman who goes looking for her former drug-dealing partner, and fantasizes about immloating slimy men and hometown bullies who did her wrong. Her voice is really deep and brooding, and it's all over synth tracks and looping guitars.
Took me a while to get into PJ's latest album - like Let England Shake, it's somber and challenging subject matter, this time about urban decay and eminent domain among other subjects. It's really ambitious though, and her show last night was completely amazing. She's such a force. Going again tonight.
PJ Harvey - Dress - HD Live (V Festival 2003 - August 17th, 2003 - Hylands Park, Chelmsford, Essex, U.K.). Polly Jean Harvey, Rob Ellis, Mick Harvey. Lyrics ... Stream full seasons for FREE on Peacock: https://bit.ly/2DLQBd5 With Hardman's departure, Jessica promotes Harvey from senior associate to junior partner, gi... This twice Ensor-nominated composer and Mercury Prize winning producer delivers a collection of songs, including a duet with his long-time musical partner PJ Harvey, that should change all that. Harvey's Brother Lied And Katie Wants Full Custody! - Suits 8x05 'You're A Shitty Brother Too!' - Duration: 3:01. Chunky Mammal 209,147 views Steve Harvey concludes his two-part event with a call for both the men and women in this audience be more communicative and considerate of each other's feeli... HARVEY SPECTER OWNS 20% MY FAVORITE SCENE Former student Mike Ross makes a living illegally taking the Law School Admission Test for others. To pay for his g... 'Down By the Water' is a PJ Harvey song originally written about filicide (a mother drowning her child) covered by L.A. based rock trio The Secret Things (Cynthia Catania, Steve Giles, Dan Nelles ... How Much Should You Change For Your Partner? - Duration: 4:50. ... NEW Steve and Marjorie Harvey and the tell all with her Ex Jim Townsend - Duration: 7:52. DANNY LEE TV 44,221 views. An essential feature of avoidant personality disorder is a pattern of being socially inhibited, feeling inadequate and hypersensitive to rejection or critici... Giving you some insight into one approach to take when broaching the red pill topic with a woman, sincerely based on my own experiences. Please watch through, so you understand: 1:06 My red pill ...